short and (notso)sweet. a tad like you

and just like any other
today has been a funny old day.
yesterday was maybe worse.
a fat tart of a hooker.
i do feel those where the words to describe little old me.
for once.
i think i wish i was someone else.
but i do know i always want to be somewhere else.
im kinda getting sick of dating
and wondering
and wasting time.
its crazy but i just wana meet the right person now.
and be done with it.
i dont wana fuck around.
trying not to get hurt.
believeing ever single lie.
part of me wants to scream.
'if my writings so good why am i getting no where fast.'
dear me.
'if im so pretty why am i single'
'why am i alone?'
'Why am i not a model'
its 3am and we are far from being on the floor again.
god damn.
today i came to the conclusion
im in love with the idea of being in love.
you know what i never asked.
Where the fuck is your heart?