save me? i'll pay you.

lips that needed no introduction.
soon turned to dust.
isnt it funny how one night can change it all.
isnt it so strange how.
how this changed it all.
i wish i could express.
i wish joe was here.
or christian.
but alisons here.
im going to cuddle her.
right now.
because i wont be sleeping here tonight.
save me please.
i wish you could still drive.

Dance, Dance W.B.

I've got the time
I've got time on my side
Running the rule
Commanding the late boys eyes
I run around,
Know all the streets by name
So mysterious, shadows meet James Dean
I'm intoxicating
Soon your favorite drink
My red dress in disarray
Only dance floor prayers can save you now
Temperatures rise and you start to move
But it's me that's coursing through your veins
I've' got hope
I took shelter to the Hollywood list
Taking control
I wanted your heart
But you gave me your soul
I'm like a Paige Davis with a Monroe kiss
I disappeared today
Left no trace
But someday you'll know your name
You don't need no drugs
I'm your chemical
Now you're dependent
I swear you're clinical
Addicted to those glances
Your taking the chances tonight
You need a fix in my heroin eyes
I'm no saint but i'll take you to your knees
Try me boy
But i'll still do what I please
Do you believe in science?
I'm perfect chemistry
I wanted your love
But you gave me the rest of you
If London's calling don't you dare pick up the phone
Lips that need no introduction,
but now your waiting for my call
If a picture's worth a thousand words
Then my touch is worth them all
Don't leave us in the dark.

i'll expain when im not at work <3

http://lilymaespublications.blogspot.com/

just like heaven

they often say beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
and it probably is.
but when you sit down and watch and listen to the world.
then you really do see the beauty.
and while doing this.
listen to yourself.
its nice.
and its not often you have the chance too.
sometimes i have so many thoughts.
my pen cant write fast enough.
the construction site i see in front of me
is every bit as beautiful as the flowers and plants to my right.
today i am truely in love.
with the world.
myself.
the birds.
him
and the smells, (even though im starving and it smells like chicken nuggets.)
while she brushes her teeth with his toothbrush
he has a shave.
she thinks to herself
whats romantic about this?
the way they gaze at each other
without the other one knowing of course
the way they laugh uncontrollably as she brushs her teeth
and newly applied eyeliner and mascara strains her pretty face.
but this time it is not because she is sad.
she is unbelievably happy.
hes gone now.
she misses him.
but cant help but smile at thoughts of them together.
just like heaven.
nothing makes you want to write his name next to yours more.
only a love heart seperating it.
but you dont.
you remember that your not 12 anymore.
to hell with it
remember how much fun it was being 12
you do it
lifes gonna be good from now on.
i can tell
but i think im in love

i put the art in heart

you confessed you messed up.
dropping sorry like im still around.
i'm just the girl all the boys want to dance with
and your just the boy whos had to many chances.
but i love everything about you that hurts
let me see your moves
trade her baby blues
for my wide eyed browns.
i wrote a 3 page journal today.
when i get round to it.
i shall post it up here.
its erm, interesting?
the music just isnt going down tonight
its like a horrid tasting medicine.
for a terrible cold.
and sometimes what you have is never enough
and sometimes they have far too much
othertimes you cant see what you have
you pass chances up
for the dreams your chasing
but you dont even notice
you sit down
and do nothing
well its about time you got up
you cant continue to push everyone away
you have to get on with it
go to the doctors
and take the green pills
if youve got an issue
they dont have a tissue
no-one does
except yourself
its a mental illness
you should have seen your face when i told you.
you where shocked.
you should have seen my face when she told me.
i was broke
laura, your ill
you have an illness
painkillers
windows
blades
and cars.
and as you watch your self get sucked up by a big black hole called depression
theres nothing you can do.
except watch
you dont see the front they see in the mirror
you see the cracks
the flaws
the bloodshot eyes
and the last remains of a broken and smashed girl
i wish i was like the paper i write on
Clean, white, marked only by printed gray lines, parellel to each other
equally spaced.
and one veRtical blue line, slightly thicker
that runs the lengh of the page.
instead, im like the pen i write with.
shinY and new on the outside.
dirty and Old on the inside.
destined to run out or dry up
destiNed to just stop
halt.
noThing can save you now kid.
not even the air in your lungs.
the blood in your vains
or tHat pretty smile on your tear stained face
and with my one last gasping breath
i would apolgiSe for bleeding On your new era
closely followed by 'not'
i put the art in heart
we are the used, the broken and the Fragile.
Lily's heArt was never meant to mend
but it wasnt like she cared.
MAKE THE WRITERS COME TO LIFE KID.
bring the characters out from the story book
have the fairytale you once wanted
see romeo and juliet kiss
watch holden get his girl
noah and allie have there wedding
and the little english girl have her very own fairytale
and then you put your pen down.
fall out of your make believe world
come out of the safty
and into the danger.
its like opening your eyes after an intense orgasm and realising its just sex
not love, of course.
its like the anti-climax of the year.
like no snow on christmas day
like no presents on your 18th birthday
like realising your back, its made for stsbbing
and everything you once knew was really just fake
even the friends
even the music
i hate putting my pen down

and i took his advice

well its just im so confused, i really hate men, ive been workin too much, unis too hard, i just dont have the motivation, basically i feel like giving up
I hate men too, and school is too hard too
I felt like giving up many times, but it's not worth it
giving up, that is
sometimes I wait for someone to save me
they dont really come
save yourself until I have the money and time to save you
then everything will be alright
when we save each other
I mean, that is plan b
at least
you can take it or leave it
I love you unconditionally
and I am making a bomb
saving each other sounds cool
but i dont know how to save myself
I know, me neither. Somehow I am still tryin though. I guess you just have to sleep when you are tired, and wake up and then give it your best shot, and fail or succeed, give it your best shot. this world wasn't built for people like us, and for that very reason we will either fail big, or win big
Sometimes its not in our hands
just fall asleep and wake up
it's the only way
when things get rough
and live for the moments
where everything is alright
far and few
but live for them
until I can bring us the day when it will always be like that
every second
like a fairy tale
it'll work
I promise
I know it
do u think i could really have a fairy tale?
im obsessed with the idea
but fairy tales dont happen to girls like me
Only you. You are one of the very few.
and I typed that before I read your sentence
that said it doesn't happen to girls like you
Other girls, don't even know they exist
Just make sure you are wishing for the right thing. and remember, if cinderalla, wouldn't have gotten that one night, she would have stayed a worker girl. even if the prince didnt come back, she still had that night, and that moment, and always hope for another
there is always hope
always
I love you
I have to go cinderalla
*kisses*
bye beautiful
come back soon, i miss you
*kisses*
xxxxxxxx
signed off at 23:38:05.
so thats what i did

Dude, pass the band aids and save your scissors

Laura’s heart was never meant to mend
Her empty pockets
And bloodshot eyes tell all the storys
She just cant dance for ever
But she wants to make it better
The wind is cold
The summer sun is so far away
Close the doors
And lock them tight
Take all your jealous hearts
And cast them into the sea
But as they say
You will never fall in love
If you don’t fall at all.
Its time to give it all
And fall
Fall so hard you break your nose
Fall so hard you may only come away with broken bones
And a smashed heart.
But its what we are all about.
Because she is gona regret it all
Living behind her wall.
Times like these wont last forever.
put on your red shoes
And lets dance the blues
But good shoes wont save you this time
And make no mistake
Our smiles are fake
Do you just want to watch me all night?
But don’t wake me up
I don’t want this dream to end
When our time is up
When our lifes are done
Will we say we’ve had our fun?
Will we make a mark this time?
Will we always say we tried?
Scream your heart out
But its always
Apologies
Glances
And messed up chances
Isnt it so funny how certain music makes you feel a certain way
Some songs take you back to the pain you felt when you where 15
And others take you to that summer of love
Some make you want to cut up all over again
And some reflect the joy you felt when you kissed that guy.
Forget about the dirty looks
The photographs your exboyfriend took
You said you’d read me like a book but the pages are all torn and frayed
trust me
im not ofuckingkay
=)
And some make you never want to give up
Never want to stop
Never want to take it lying down
Never want to be pushed over
Never want to be afraid again
Music is what we live for
So if Lauras heart never mends
It’s no big deal
She wouldn’t want it any other way.x

for it is in our dreams we are truely happy

im guess im trying to say im sorry
a part of me still loves you
even though ive moved on
i guess
i wanted this for always
broken hearts
torn-up photos
apparently i cant just keep on dancing
i dont even want to go
i just need to get out
and cry
which is what im going to do.
one day maybe you will stop a second
and read that poem i wrote for you
i hope the sun never rises.

i wish i didnt moan so much

i wish i could put into words how much i miss you
i wish i could tell you that im falling in love with you
i wish my heart wasnt made of china
i wish i was pretty
i wish i wasnt so tall
i wish i was the one you where waiting for
i wish i could turn heads
i wish i could break hearts
i wish i was confident
i wish i was an artist
i wish that song meant something to you
i wish i didnt waste my time
i wish you would just say i love you
i wish i could say what i liked
i wish i could wear what i wanted
i wish i wasnt so indesive
i wish i could spell
i wish i could make you half as happy as you make me
i wish i could cure cancer
i wish i could write a novel
i wish i was smart
i wish i was in chicago
i wish this meant enough to you for you to bookmark it
i wish you read this everyday.
i wish i was content

Things seem so far away

When I met this boy.
I didn’t see us here now.
In fact
It wasn’t even me who noticed him.
It was the best.
Its so strange how well we get on.
Its so strange how well I get on with his friends
Its so strange how well I get on with his family.
I’ve missed him ever so much
And now im here it’s perfect
But the thing is I know something’s going to go wrong
It always does
But now I know what’s going to go wrong
He’s gonna leave for London
And no matter how hard we try we are never going to see each other again
My heart is going to crack and break
The band aids he put in place are gona come unstuck
And I’m gona be punished for all those wrongs.
Im gona compare everyone to him
And ill never be happy.
Ill miss him immensely
And he’ll marry some blonde piece.
Sure she’ll be pretty
But she’ll never be me.
She’ll never be the Lily Mae of summer 2007
But hey
Fuck it
Lets live for the moment
Lets have amazing sex
Lets have conversations that last all night
Lets sleep in each others arms
And play sonic until our eyes glaze
Lets laugh so hard we get tears in our eyes
And throw each other into the sea
And talk about things long gone
Lets be happy
Lets never forget the summer we spent laughing and smiling
Lets never regret a thing
Not even the fights we may have
And the tears and heartache when u leave
The pictures will fade
But the memories forever
Long live the car crash hearts
Cry on the sofa
Where the poets come to life
Fix me in a novel
Live and love
Dream and die
Never forget these moments

half an hour phones calls...dingdong

my rooms messy.
much like my hair.
much like my car
and much like my heart.
of course.
its not like i mind.
if i tidy up.
i'll lose something.
you where there for summer dreaming.
you gave me what i need.
pick a star with me?
and forever it will be our star.
and our children will look up at our star and smile.
but our star.
is a special star.
for it will never fade.
it will never burn out.
it will always be there.
just like us.
ive never been so lost.
ive never felt so much at home.
please write my folks.
and throw away my keys.
woke up in a car is going to be my 2008 summer.

Lily, for gods sake, shut up, you're freaking them out

its hard to say that i was wrong
its hard to say i miss you
since you've been gone
its not the same.
i wonder if he knows i stared into his eyes.
there so beautiful
a myspace picture doesnt do justice.
dont forget me.
dont leave me alone to spill the wine on my white dress
and is it good to be incense.
or better to be the sun?
if you could smell me would you say it was pretty?
Medina from Chicago.
Can i have you?
skip this pretense
cut right to dieing.
this is a habit that i cant break.
i overthink too much
it drives me insane
it really does
theres just too many situtaions
and sometimes we walk by the good ones
because we're trying too hard to see them
and sometimes we dont find the right lines
because we're trying too hard to hear them
turn away
im aweful just to see
and ive never cried so much in my whole life
i guess this time your really leaving
summer just wanted to break hearts
and this one lies bleeding
you say its true love
its suicide
you left me drowning in my tears
i wanted to be your valentine
i'll be there for you
these five words i swear are true
(talk is cheap...
...lies are cheaper.)
you wasnt there when i was down
and you missed my birthday
words cant say what love can do.
but they can say what lies don't.
i wanna hang on to something
that wont break away
or fall apart
like the pieces of my heart

doctor, its the 'sad' playlist please. thankyou

so i spent all day pinning my idols to my wall.
funny.
you wernt up there.
i've got tummy ache.
i'm tired.
i can't sleep.
i don't wana sleep alone.
jump on the plane?
join me?
i'd pay you...
but you wouldn't need it.
you'd hate me anyway.
i sing over a secret pain.
i know i dont belong.
its hard to say.
i am not afraid to die.
love is not like anything
espically a fucking knife.
be my thousand fucks?
you almost always pick the best times
to drop the worst lines
remember when that was about you.
all those years ago.
everynights the same story.

Relient K...get the hell out from under my bed!

the greatest thing you'll ever learn.
is to love.
and be loved in return.
told you i had that obession.
because sometimes.
in the middle of an ordinary life.
love comes along.
and changes it into a fairy tale.
because im the kind of girl that bursts out laughing in complete silence.
over something that happened the day before.
the kind of girl that will always spill something on her white dress.
and get really drunk and fall over.
the kind of girl that gets really mad then crys.
but then says sorry and cuddles you.
im the kind of girl that will write you a love letter.
but wont ever send it to you.
im the kind of girl that lives for the nights she cant remember
with the friends she'll never forget
the kind of girl you'll wish you'd never meet.
but you'll never forget.
your girlfriends ex-boyfriend
hes missing her cuz he knows hes missing out.
no-one else comes close to her.
he had the world but he thought he wanted for more.
if it wasnt for him.
we wouldnt be here now.
thankyou.
you got the girl.
and he's left with just the memory.
mmhmm.
the kids are all fucked up.
we dont care.
kiss me?

baby the libertines are so last summer.

find a new band.
i did.
isn't it strange.
soon as he quotes them.
the world does.
but hes a year behind.
and im too steps in front.
its time to catch the rays.
remove the makeup.
remove the clothes.
remove the scars.
i miss my american friends.
i miss their pretty little voices.
i miss their beautiful little smiles.
and i miss them saying 'i love you'
hey mister sunshine.
bring me a dream.
bring me the perfect time.
bring me my fairytale.
thankyou.
li/ove you
copycats for lovers.
get me outta my mind.
get you outta those clothes.
get you outta your mind.
get me outta my clothes.
one night stand.
one night stand-off.
one more time...

Hang the DJ <3

to be honest.
ive been here a million times before.
i just didnt know what to write lately.
ive got it now.
i did my part for charity yesterday.
cleaning cars for five hours.
running a bar for five hours.
and being sold for £55 ironically.
ive had fun these last few days.
despite missing him.
its been ace.
im starting to feel good about things again.
ive picked myself up
and dusted myself off.
maybe its the hair.
maybe its the boy.
maybe its the friends.
but maybe its the sun.
the plan for today.
shower.
sun.
uni work.
new cobra album.
i love it.
makes me wana shake shake shake.
but its true when they say.
as one pat of your life goes amazingly well.
the other crashes.
and burns.
Hey Mister DJ...
Put A Record On.
K.
Thanks

Laura Jayne Chivers, lay your cards on the table please.

sometimes i want someone to write about me for a change.
a poem.
a song.
a prose.
something beautiful.
something that makes my tummy flip.
but is a song is what i'd want most.
but since thats not gonna happen.
i found my own Laura songs,
various artists of course.
some good
some bad.
of course.

I've got a friend.
Her name is Laura.
We took a holiday.
Seven sweet days in Majorca.
Seven days in the sun.
She's my heaven,
She's a spark,
Feels like heaven,
So light me up.
Here's another tale about this girl named Laura,
You can find her shiny teeth at any corner,
I'm gonna look up Laura what's her name
And finally make it clear
I studied every square inch of her legs in our junior year
This next song is about a young lady called Laura
Who unfortunately isn't with us anymore
But she's still called Laura...
There's no need for tears
Cause there's no need to cry
The love that you leave
Will never be left behind
This pain in my head comes straight from my heart
No woman alive could touch who you were
So bye, bye Laura
There's no one could take your place
Bye, bye Laura
Your beauty will never fade
The seed that you sewn
Now reachs for the sky
The song that you leave
Will never beat at night
And after this song, her spirit lives on
Though your not around you'll never be gone
Laura, can't you give me some time,I got to give myself one more chance.
Laura kept all her disappointments
Locked up in a box behind her closet door
She pulled the blinds and listened to the thunder
With no way out from the family store
Nothing left for a boy but to hide these dreams away...
All those dreams decay
Laura...know this song for always
Laura...show this song to no one
Laura, are you still living there on your estate of sorrow?
You used to leave it occasionally.
Now, you don't even bother to ride that commuter train west to Chicago,
To stroll through the greenery, in the park, past the statues.
How their eyes seemed to follow you like a hated addiction.
Their beauty carved out of absolutes that you could never claim, or even envision.
Laura you were the saddest song in the shape of a woman.
I thought you were beautiful,but I wept with your movements.
I hope you are laughing now from that place of the carpet
where we shared a sleeping bag, in your sisters apartment.
Oh how she would worry so, you know,I was just a stranger.
But she asked me to care for you.
That is what she didand I went and betrayed her.
But do you know we are in high demand,Laura, us people who suffer?
Because we don't take to arguing and we are quick to surrender.
Well, I think I would call tonight if I still had your number.
Your thoughts have always laid close to mine.
We were both skipping supper.
But you should never be embarrassed by your trouble with living.
Because it is the ones with the sorest throats, Laura, who have done the most singing.
And Laura’s asleep in my bed
As I’m leaving she wakes up and says
“I dreamed you were carried away on the crest of a wave
Baby don’t go away, come here”

Sometimes it's nice not to know who,
or what a songs about.
just so you can pretend it's about you.
and your life.
Sometimes its nice not to use names but metaphors.
Sometimes its nice to use smiles instead of music.

and

ive never seen anything so beautiful
<3

i hate the ending myself

i just realised how empty my bed felt.
i could well do with someone to share it with.
i feel really alone at the minute.
a cuddle would be good right about now.
i took a second to look at my life.
and i realised that my life, my room and my car.
there all the same.
a mess.
i guess its continuous tho.
thats got to be good.
i wonder if you fix one, the rest will follow.
for example if i clean my room.
will my life fix itself?
dont be silly.
what do you think this is,
a fairytale.
i almost thought it was.
almost.
it wasnt.
do you think every night will be the same?
my eyes are closing.
and the suns raising.
i do everything in the wrong order.
always and forever.
sex would be good right about now.
shocked much?
at least im real.
told you i was too real.