Rest in Peace Dana

i would have said this to you face to face.
but im so rubbish with saying things.
i'm so much more better with writing them.
i dont know why i want to give you this.
or let you read it.
but i just do.
something tells me i should.
i found your side project on myspace.
it touched me in so many ways.
and i cried for like two hours.
i could relate to it.
i almost lost my mum to cancer, she went into hospital the day after my 18th birthday.
and finally went into remission just over a year later.
it broke our family up
and tested me more than i ever thought possible.
when there was no-one there for me.
music saved me.
music held my hand.
and music wiped my tears.
i couldnt imagine my life without her.
shes my guidance and my rock.
but at least i would have had the chance to say goodbye.
i feel so lucky that shes still with me, and i do always hug her that bit more.
and tell her how much i love her everyday.
but i know the time will come when she won't be with me anymore.
and i'll have to deal with it.
but what also touched me about the promise of redemption.
is it reminded me of when my long term relationship of three years ended.
i know what it feels like to love someone so much that your heart could burst.
and for them to be all you can think about from morning to night.
then to have them taken away from you.
even though he's still around, things have changed.
and will never be the same as they where.
i know what it feels like to have your heart ripped out and stamped on.
it makes me feel so sad to think that could happen to you.
apart from she's not around anymore.
and you'll have to wait a little bit longer to see her again.
i know ive only met you twice.
but already your one of the nicest people ever.
your musics really inspired me.
your kind, genuine and funny.
Shane, you and Dana are forever in my thoughts and prayers.
Thank you for continuing to write music and make such an impact on the world.

yes i am on an indefinite hiatus...im just not very good at it.

on sunday me and the bff came to a conclusion.
we'd go on an indefinite hiatus from men.
i'm sick of them and so is she.
sick of being second best.
sick of having 'mixed' feelings.
sick of the bullshit.
it sounded like a good and positive idea at the time.
we didnt realise how hard it would be to keep it up.

i've been listening to a lot of mayday parade recently.
the words mean a lot more to me than i would have ever guessed.
but to meet the band, there not at all what i would have expected.
when ever i meet a band i'm really into.
it completely shatters the illusion and completely ruins it for me.
but at least this time i can still listen to the songs.

so whats running though my head right now?
why things dont just work.

From the worst day ever...

To the best idea in a while.
well for my spoken word piece.
ive decided to recall and discuss ALL of my love intrests.
Or at least the ones that where important enough to remember.
In no particular order.
Just the way they are in my head and the ones i feel like talking about on a particular day.

1. T
T, where to start with T, he was definatly the first.
The one i wanted to hold hands with.
Kiss on the check.
Roll down the hill with.
Cheer when he won the sack race.
Or scored a goal.
He was the one ALL the girls liked.
It's safe to say i crushed on him for most of my primary school life.
Good news now is hes fucking ugly.
and strange.
now maybe thats not a nice thing to say.
but its true.
not a cat in hells chance now boy.

i think thats all i want to talk about for tonight.
i have a busy day tomorrow.

so impossible

i have the strangest feeling tonight.
the best way to describe it.
i feel like i'm a big jigsaw and im missing a piece,
or the piece i have doesnt fit.
and i cant figure out why?
but the piece i need/doesnt fit is super important.
no, i dont really get it either.
ive got a really busy day tomorrow.
but im looking forward to it.
busy is good for me.
i'm starting to write my spoken word piece for open mic night.
yes, ive decided to finally share my work.
yes, im absolutely terrified.
it could go terribly wrong
and it probably will.
but the ideas there, right?
anyway moving on.
ive lost my download list.
damn.
this only means one thing.
to bed to bed to bed.
over and out.
lily poddle pod.x

Short, Sweet and Single.

Arnt you a lucky bunch of unique boys and girls.
Another blog.
I'm pretty tired so we'll keep it short and sweet.
Currently functioning on 4 hours sleep.
Stupid amounts of caffine.
Silly texts and cute facebook messages.
Current annoyance, fucking automated myspace messages...
Fuck off...just write me a personal one.
That is all.
Told you it was short and ever so sweet.
Lilyspacerocketmae.x

Hegmony...yeahyeah...thats like a holiday in Scotland or something, right?

Dear My Little Home Skillets.
How are you?
Good, good, glad to hear it.
I on the other hand, should be fretting something rotten over these exams.
But in true Lily fashion, I am not.
What will be, will be.
I shall try to do my best.
And blag as much as possible.
I'm quite good at that.
But at the end of the day...I want to be a music journalist.
Why must i write about politics?
Nope, i don't know either.
Plans for after my exams?
Work.
Resitsss.
Do what i should have been doing all year.
Study that bit harder.
Party that bit less.
Shows =)
Holidays.
General fun times.
In other news, im hooked on podcasts...
Free and awesome.
What more need i say?
I deeply recommend...Meet The Author and The Kerrang Night Before Podcasts.
I think its time for bed.
My heart rate has slowed down and my eyes are heavy.
Gonna grab a crafty 2 hours before up for more revision.
Modality, Agenda Setting, Ideology, Propaganda and Hegmony are not going to scream at me how they help politicians issues in a positive manner and how they help charities combat compassion fatigue or how they operate in relation to advertising.
Yeah you get the picture.
I'll leave you with this:
What you should be feeding your ears with this week: Does It Offend You, Yeah?
What you should be feeding your eyes with this week: Nick Hornby - Slam.
What you should be feeding your nose with this week: Home Cooking (Y).
What you should be feeding your wardrobe with this week: Lazy Oaf.
Take Care.
Until next time and no more exams.
Yours
Lilypod.x