and i had a trillion things to say. but the words wont write themselves

the last week has been a whirlwind
now its over
and i feel really sad about it
infact i dont like it
ive never wanted to leave as much as i do now
i need to sort my life out
and make a fresh start
decide who i want to be
and where i want to go.
i miss the tour life.
ive only been gone a day.
you know when things hit rock bottom and they cant get worse?
well they just did.

things cant get worse.

only better right?
childhood dreaming is a thing of the past

I can always trust you to be there for me, fall out boy cds

This has been said so many times that I'm not sure if it matters
But we never stood a chance
I know this hurts, it was meant to
But it must be said again that all us girls are just writing
Into journals for attention
Because we're just so bored
I'm falling apart to Fall Out Boy songs about hips and hearts
I used to obsess over living,
Now I only obsess over you
Tell me you'd like girls like me better
In the dark lying underneth of you
From day one I talked about getting out
But not forgetting about
How my worst fears are letting out
He said why put a new address
On the same old loneliness
When breathing just passes the time
Until we all just get old and die
Now talking's just a waste of breath
And living's just a waste of death
And why put a new address
On the same old loneliness
And this is you and me
And me and you
Until we've got nothing left

me, oh yes, i'm in the business of misery

and drama rides on my back.
how lucky is that.
i dont even know what i need to say
or want to say for that matter.
i need this break more than ever.
i really need to pack.

from my worst day ever

to new starts
i feel like its all gona work
my two old best friends back in my life.
the two guys i spent my summers with
climbing trees
skate boarding
and being put into bins.
i offically had the worst day of my life.
but its all getting better now.
i can feel it in my water as they say.
somethings will always be shitty so im not looking
or planning too much on them.
i stared into oblivion
and found my own
i dont feel scared anymore
i dont feel alone
i want to let people in
people to help me and save me
its all good
im gona nail uni this year
i promise
to fresh starts
holidays with the best
drinks with the olds
journliam and music
to being a top writer
and an all ound happy person.
x

end result of so many meetings

things change so quickly
you cant even notice
i plunge deeper and deeper
but my smile wont fail me
i try to make everything okay
but its a lot harder than it seems
i cant run away to chicago
im not allowed
so i do the next best thing
run down south
i feel like theres so much more
out there
just waiting to be found
but i cant find it here
here i drink myself to sleep
is it best for us to be complete stangers
and to be together in our dreams
or do we find the time
and let what happens, happen?
i want to fall hopelessly in love
i want to be happy
and have a big house
i want the perfect family
and the perfect waistline
but nothings perfect
and something that is
never lasts forever.
it feels like all the good lines have been said
and all the best melodies have been taken
but take away the bad lines and worst melodies
what are u left with?

this broken heart has many a tale to tell

things feel kinda strange lately

by lately i mean perhaps the last 2 days

as i watched the cold rain fall from the sky

it hit my face

like a gentle tear from the sky

it landed on my face with grace and style

at the same time i watched the warm air from my loving lungs leave and

as it collied with the outside world

it changed into a white mist

unforgiving

undesirable

and miserable.

i cant tell u how much i need to get on a plane

how much i need to go to chicago

how much i need this space

and today was a day, just like any other

in a world of plenty
we can never have what we want
are we honest
do we fight for our rights
or do we slump into the background
and end up with what we never really wanted
but have it because its less hassle
i had a little girl last night
Lilian Mae Chivers.
she was so beautiful.
bright blue eyes and fair brown hair.
she smiled like nothing ive ever seen.
she held one of my fingers so tightly i knew she was all i needed.
my family where there.
proud and not mad.
it hurt so much.
but it was all worth it.
she was so beautiful.
i knew i could make it work.
all she had to do was smile.
her dad was no where to be seen.
only because he didnt know.
ten tiny fingers
ten tiny toes
a smile that could knock you out
and bright blue eyes that shined like the sea.
she was a symbol of happiness, love and joy.
it felt so real.
i awoke to find no baby, no bump and no man.
this feels like the hardest thing.
honestly is something we should honer.
broken hearts like promises and dreams.
i either do this or i dont.
i either get happy or i dont.
its been a bad day
another bad day
and all i wana do is look at you and know im okay.
are we the romeo and juliet of our time.
are we the kids who make fucking up look cool.
its all about sweating out excuses that would make your stomach turn.