Situations

I often wonder what the fuck I’m playing at?
Life sometimes blends together and confuses me.
I’m currently on a diet.
Why I hear you ask.
Because the girls in the video where skinny.
No-one wants a size 12 girl as a model.
Don’t talk daft.
I know it’s a long shot.
So from now on its a little less chips, a little more salad.
It’s sad it’s come to this.
But my aim is to cut to 1000 calories a day.
To go jogging 3 times a week
And do 30 sit ups a night
And 20 press ups a night. Both weekends only.
It scares me a tad to think that the media has changed my mind set to this.
But at the moment it’s all about losing inches.
So tomorrow morning is jogging time.
Then I need to clean this shit hole of a room.
Then go shopping.
Frigadig.
And ive also been thinking about you.
As if you still owe me £180.
You go on holiday and you still owe me £180.
Call me petty.
Call me what you will.
But £180 is my Paul’s boutique bag, a new camera and KIGH tickets.
This is the main reason I can’t go to coffee with you.
In hindsight give me the money.
And let’s forget the past.
Then the friendships back on.
Until then.
I’m having a hard time.
Do you even know how much I want a Paul’s boutique bag?
Also to the scummer in Satan’s.
I hope my camera suits you well.
Now I have to save up for a new one.
Wanker.
To a certain Mister A. Philips.
Can we make out?
I’ve got a bet going on.
And it’s been a while since I’ve locked lips.
Thankyou.
Yours forever and always.
Until next time
Miss Lilian Mae.

There never seems to be enough hours in the day...

Hello.
How are you today?
Good, i'm glad.
My response would be good to.
But that's a lie.
And i don't lie to you.
I'm okay i guess.
Just extremely tired these days.
Bad times.
I've got so much on and so much today.
I don't seem to have time for anyone.
Which sucks.
I've been thinking a lot today.
Someone told me there was no point in being in a relationship until your completely happy with the way you are and the way your life is.
And until then, theres no point in letting another person into it.
I think that's true.
I'm told i can have anyone i want.
But who do i want if anyone.
The truth be known.
I'm scared to see you again.
What would the situation be like.
How would we both react.
We're exs for a reason.
Have we resolved that list we both keep in our top draw?
Because if we haven't whats the point in failing again.
I'm full of questions with no answers.
On a different topic.
Tomorrow is a new day and a fresh start.
And i am on it!
Just you watch me.