yes i am afraid right now

you didn't call.
not that i even thought you would.
which is why i went home to bed.
why do we even think there's a chance.
or why do i.
and why say those things to me.
for my own sake i'm glad my career means more to me than infatuation or lust.
unlike you.
i'll get over it by the way.
because the next time we meet.
i'll be successful.
and looking even more amazing then the last time.
no more emails to you.
just politeness and understanding.
in the last month or so i've seen the dark and dirty side to this industry.
i blame the way i'm so naive.
but i'm getting wise to it all now.
i heard on the grapevine it's 20 bonus points if you fuck a journalist.
10 points if you get her loaded.
and 5 points if you get her drunk.
but it's -20 points if she turns you down on any of the above.
my deepest apologies go out to those i turned down.
sorry gentlemen, better luck next time?
the other jobs going okay, just plodding along leading my double life.
i promise in my 30s this is going to make a killer book.