my first football match: Wigan 2 - Preston 1

I experienced my first football match yesterday.
i loved it.
and i've never quite seen anything like it.
i could not believe how close to the pitch i was.
those men running around looked like men, not ants.
the pitch was so green.
the chants, the boys behind me who could clearly do better, the atmosphere.
the men.
all those men who just wanted to behave as if they where at high school again.
90 minutes when all that mattered was football, beer and chants.
it really was a different world.
i loved it.
not what i imagined.
the euphoria of your team scoring a goal.
the depression and silence of your team losing.
the abuse, the chants, the hand claps, the shouting, the songs.
if you've never been go.
i wish i could be that passionate about 22 nancy boys and a balloon.

to the missing puzzle piece from the butterfly

love storms the castle gates of common sense
it breaks down walls
and moves mountains

you can't stop love
you can fight it but it will always win

love is strange
love is wonderful
and sometimes love is cold

love can make you jump
love can make you shout
love can make you fly

love is innocent
love is rude
love shares
and love cares

love is unreasonable
love is beautiful

love is when you can't spend a minute without it
and the thought of being without it fills you with fear
love is like oxygen

i always wondered what it meant to know
how would you just know?
i never understood
it sounds ridiculous
but the ridiculous thing is...it's true

it's a feeling you can't explain
it's an ache in your stomach
a pounding in your chest
a warmth
a feeling of being wanted
a need
a smile that will never leave your lips
a connection
and the strangest thing is, you know from the moment your eyes meet
a rush of emotion
i've never been more sure of anything
you just know you will spend the rest of your life with that one person
and nothing else matters
the past trys to creep in, sometimes you might let it
but you realise it doesn't matter
not really
all that matters is the here and now
and of course your future together

love will never fail to surprise me
one word that can change everything
one word that can complete you

smile
laugh
live
learn
love.xxx

for my missing puzzle piece...

someone told me recently that my writing was a bit depressing.
this is true.
that someone was right.
i think this is because i only write when i'm sad.
this is a waste.
the worlds been falling down around me lately.
but things happen at the strangest times.
in the strangest ways.
i feel like a teen again.
i feel excited.
holding hands is enough.
i have a flutter.
i have a smile.
i want to shout really loud as loud as i can.
i want to run as fast as i can anywhere.
i'm happy.
and there's nothing wrong with that.
i'll be sunning my bones in L.A. soon enough.
how things work out.
fate.

But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best...

Monroe said it.
And of course she said it best.
I'm selfish.
I'm impatient.
I'm insecure.
I make mistakes.
I am out of control.
At times hard to handle.
I laugh.
I cry.
I live.
I love.
I always get the punchline wrong.
Teenage Dream