to the boy who doesnt even know i exist.

i like your shoes.
maybe we should go out some time?

the secret diary of a single sexless student

good use of alliteration is that.
things in lilyland?
all work no play
the usual if you must know.
more job prospects have been thrown my way
mainly in idea form
mainly in reality
and we've still not spoken
deep down i know why
i know what i want to say
but i wont
i feel like a fool

note to self...

1. buying too many vinyls is bad for the bank account.
do not under any circumstances spend either:
a, £60 on a limited edition gold from under the cork tree vinyl.
or
b, £45 on a movielife vinyl.
depite popular believe these items will not make life better.
only deprive me of hard earned cash that took me 17 hours and 30 minutes to earn.
bad times.

2. under no circumstances 2 bottles of rose wine should not be consumed in the space of an hour.
circumstances include:
a, surprise appearances of ex boyfriends/flings/things.
b, badbadbad 9 hour shifts.
c, drowning those single sorrows - cringe, i know.

3.there is more to life than working two jobs, building flat pack furniture and cleaning
more to life includes points 1 and 2
but not in excess.

currently listening - the cure and mamma mia! ost.
currently wishing - i was on a beach with a certain someone.
currently hoping - to stop dreaming the impossible

another day...

another four more times ive been asked why i'm single...

'a girl like you shouldnt struggle for a boyfriend' - your right i dont struggle, i could date any scroat from the streets, but im too fucking fussy, okay?

'your in your 20s now, i was married when i was your age' - and this tells me your more than likely divorced now, things have moved on since we entered Anno Domini.

'you don't have a boyfriend? why ever not?' - because i dont want one.

'what do you mean you don't want one?' - simple, i. dont. want. one. i'm too selfish, fussy and not in the slightest interested in, at this moment in time, sharing my life with someone and giving my valuable time to someone. the only pro for a relationship for me is regular sex, and even that fades after the honeymoon period.

yes im a cynic.
and yes, maybe i havent met the 'right' person yet.
what ever and who ever that may be.
my perfect man?
he would have to be very witty.
as a bonus, i quite enjoy a dry sense of humour.
someone who knows as much, but not more than me, about music and pointless shitty bands no-one else has ever heard of.
or at least someone who would listen to me witter on about how fabulous these shitty bands are.
quirk.
he would have to have quirk.
and possibly a pair of winkle pickers.
maybe a pair of skinny jeans, depending on how well he carried them off.
good fashion sense is a necessary.
if it was like design a boyfriend he would look like a cross between pete doherty, not that i find him attractive he just interests me, ben bostrom, because i do find him attractive and pete wentz, thrown in for good measure.
he would defiantly have to interest me, that matters more than anything.
more than looks.
more than cock size.
more than anything.
honesty is the best policy.
i love someone that interests me.
someone i just want to look at
and figure out.
interesting is good.
and someone who can write.
well not just write, someone who is good with words.
not speaking them.
but writing them down.
and obviously someone i'd just have to rip the clothes off and fuck right there and then.
but above everything
above the music
above the fashion
above the personality
and above the looks
someone who thinks im interesting
someone who thinks im beautiful
no matter what.
even when im ill...i.e. hungover
even when i just wake up, usually hungover.
and someone whos not afraid to tell me.
and when he does.
he says it from his heart.

off to work the little one said

what i shouold be doing today...
building more flatpack furniture
unpacking boxes
sorting my uni work out
writing up my interview and reviews
what i am doing today...
watching music on demand - why did no-one tell me about this earlier
downloading music
sitting on the sofa having an interseting saturday
and ive got to go to work later.
so maybe all the things i should be doing today
ill do when i get home from work over a glass of wine
or two.
i have an absolute addiction to downloading music
its insane
i hope monday sorts itself out.

time for an update my loves.

gosh.
ive left it a while.
sorry.
things have been more than a tad crazy recently.
i moved out of uni and back into home.
epic in its own way.
6 car trips and god knows how many hours spent packing.
finally got it all home and now all my 'shit' has no where to go.
and if high fidelity taught me anything, pressure on vinyl is not good!
so consequently today i, lilian mae, built a treble wardrobe flat pack thing from scratch, single handedly!
i am a diy goddess!
seriously considering giving up the whole writing/journalism thing to set up my own flat pack assemble business.
jokes.
but i was good at it.
and it looks ace.
looking after mum lately has been harder than expected.
i didnt realise how out of sync everything was at home.
she doesnt take her meds at the right times of the day.
on her bad days stuff just gets left.
and my brother generally takes the piss out of the whole situation.
but im glad im home now to sort it all.
in other news i walked past the boy of my dreams in Manchester on saturday
its very rare i see someone i thinks stupidly attractive.
im far too picky.
nose is too big.
terrible hair.
too short.
i know its terrible but i cant help it.
i always go for personality and i guess looks second.
being quirky, interesting and knowing loads about music is far more important to me than looks.
anyroad...
this guy was beautiful.
in every sense of the word.
and he had nice shoes.
but i didnt get his number.
or even talk to him.
i didnt want to ruin it for myself.
i'm 99.9% sure he would have been a prick.
on a new note.
amy winehouses beehive.
man its huge.
bbc3 is showing me what i missed from glasto.
and by all accounts you couldnt miss her beehive.
one day i will create one just as big, if not bigger.
shes singing back to black.
and im not happy with this performance.
shes singing the chorus.
then doing like weird noises/random notes in the verses.
which only leads me to believe shes forgot the words.
someone please give that girl a good roast dinner with all the trimmings and extra roasties.
on a positive note, she looks very tanned.
chin up amy dear.