i had the notion that you'd make me change my ways

all we are is empty promises
and fake smiles
happy fronts while we die inside
i guess thats just the way the world works
i dont wana talk anymore
im still not done spilling my tears for you
my front told me i was
my heart wasnt ready to stop
after everything ive been through
and still nothing works out for me
i bet someone out there has all my luck
all my happy times
and im stuck with all there bad luck
and all there sad times
well i hope that person truly loves everything they have
because i would kill for it
im about to fail my first year at uni
dont try to tell me im not
because i am.
i know i am.
and i cant even live out next year.
my mums ill again.
just as we think shes getting better
shes ill again.
thank god for small mercys as least shes not hospital ill again.
but shes still ill
and shes not gona get better.
no matter what anyone says
and then him.
i know all anyone can say hes not worth it
and no-one can see why im so upset.
but i did really like him
i opened upto him
i knew it was all ending in summer
but i never expected it to get cut short
and with it getting cut short
it changed everything
it changed the romance
the way we would spend the last night together
how it was something other than us pulling us apart
how it was a notebook romance
its all gone
the bond we shared
the laughs
and tears
all i seem to have is my friends
but there all wrapped up in whos shagging who
and plus they all have there own problems and issues to deal with.
so i guess nobody knows but me
someone told me they admire me today
i wouldnt admire me
i wish i could
but i wouldnt
a wise man once told me to never give up
here i am 19 years into it
and giving up is the easiest thing to do
but walking away is still the hardest thing to do
i want to thank my cutie american sweetheart
for doing everything right today
without even realising it.
voicemails to tell me something amazing when i wake up
and phone calls to stop my tears from falling.
perfect timing
i love you more.
promise.
sweet dreams