i put the art in heart

you confessed you messed up.
dropping sorry like im still around.
i'm just the girl all the boys want to dance with
and your just the boy whos had to many chances.
but i love everything about you that hurts
let me see your moves
trade her baby blues
for my wide eyed browns.
i wrote a 3 page journal today.
when i get round to it.
i shall post it up here.
its erm, interesting?
the music just isnt going down tonight
its like a horrid tasting medicine.
for a terrible cold.
and sometimes what you have is never enough
and sometimes they have far too much
othertimes you cant see what you have
you pass chances up
for the dreams your chasing
but you dont even notice
you sit down
and do nothing
well its about time you got up
you cant continue to push everyone away
you have to get on with it
go to the doctors
and take the green pills
if youve got an issue
they dont have a tissue
no-one does
except yourself
its a mental illness
you should have seen your face when i told you.
you where shocked.
you should have seen my face when she told me.
i was broke
laura, your ill
you have an illness
painkillers
windows
blades
and cars.
and as you watch your self get sucked up by a big black hole called depression
theres nothing you can do.
except watch
you dont see the front they see in the mirror
you see the cracks
the flaws
the bloodshot eyes
and the last remains of a broken and smashed girl
i wish i was like the paper i write on
Clean, white, marked only by printed gray lines, parellel to each other
equally spaced.
and one veRtical blue line, slightly thicker
that runs the lengh of the page.
instead, im like the pen i write with.
shinY and new on the outside.
dirty and Old on the inside.
destined to run out or dry up
destiNed to just stop
halt.
noThing can save you now kid.
not even the air in your lungs.
the blood in your vains
or tHat pretty smile on your tear stained face
and with my one last gasping breath
i would apolgiSe for bleeding On your new era
closely followed by 'not'
i put the art in heart
we are the used, the broken and the Fragile.
Lily's heArt was never meant to mend
but it wasnt like she cared.
MAKE THE WRITERS COME TO LIFE KID.
bring the characters out from the story book
have the fairytale you once wanted
see romeo and juliet kiss
watch holden get his girl
noah and allie have there wedding
and the little english girl have her very own fairytale
and then you put your pen down.
fall out of your make believe world
come out of the safty
and into the danger.
its like opening your eyes after an intense orgasm and realising its just sex
not love, of course.
its like the anti-climax of the year.
like no snow on christmas day
like no presents on your 18th birthday
like realising your back, its made for stsbbing
and everything you once knew was really just fake
even the friends
even the music
i hate putting my pen down