tell me i'm a bad girl, tell me an angel, take this to my grave.x

im in need of a fresh start.
is hard understanding im incomplete?
but i am not afraid to keep on living.
or to walk this world alone.
its going to happen.
a wise man once told me that anything was possible.
i almost believed him.
a stupid boy once told me i was beautiful.
i didnt believe him.
and someone told me today i wasn't a nobody.
and for a slight second.
i was filled with hope.
is anything possible?
i see a story book ending ahead of me.
but not the good type.
the notebook type.
but the middle.
where the lovers are pulled apart for 15 years.
the best thinks it too.
we cant all be wrong
well i was looking for my noah.
would you have the guts to say,
i dont love you,
like i loved you yesterday.
would you?
in the game of life.
what do you think matters most.
the past?
the present?
or the future?
do we really care about the ex files?
past behaviour?
do we really care what people think?
or if good sex is enough?
and are we really too caught up with being wifes and mothers?
i'm not.
i dont care about the ex files.
theres a reason why we break up with them.
past behaviour.
hmmm.
usually a good chance to judge present behaviour.
but nope, doesnt matter to me.
unless your a serial killer of your current partners.
but in that case, you'd be in prison.
for what people think.
yes and no.
i dont give a fuck if you think im some common scum bag who rambles too much.
you're not really a concern to me.
but deep down i'll cry if you cut me deep.
not that you'll ever see.
good sex is never enough.
fact.
you've got to be able to laugh together.
cry together.
sleep in the same bed together.
fight together.
get wasted together.
and be more than just lovers together.
good sex is the basis of a fuck buddy relationship.
fact.
and i'm not caught up in being someones wife or a mother.
because we fall in love. (use the term loosely.)
get married.
pop a few sprogs.
get our menopause.
the kids leave.
you get a divorce.
and hate each other.
not usually in that order.
some life?
in conclusion.
i'm living for the now.
not the tomorrow.
not the yesterday.
for now.
for this moment.
for the smiles.
and frowns.
for the laughs.
and tears.
for the friends.
and the enemies.
for the 6-1 victorys.
for the blonde moments.
for watching the birds and talking about bullshit.
for being indepth.
and shallow.
for the sea.
for the memories.
the hopes.
and the dreams.
for the things you want.
and the things you dont.
for dancing in your underwear.
for singing in the mirror with a hairbrush.
for having a messy room.
and messy hair.
for saying things at the wrong time.
and wishing you'd never said them at all.
for crying because i'm a softy.
for the cuddles in the mirror.
for making long lists.
and for smiling when doing so.
sorry.
n/a. guess who you is?
a clue. its not you dear.