i don't get much internet access...

Sunday 20th December 2009

Killing in the name of…

In fact I have no idea.
What would I kill in the name of?
If anything?
Maybe that could be my question of the day…
Answers on a postcard please…
Or text them too me…
Now that would amuse me…
Anyway…
I’m really loving the new Cribs album at the moment.
It must be the Marr guitar riffs.
I love the song cheat on me.
It kinda makes sense.
Because that’s what he did.
Because things go together better than others…
Manic depression and hyper sexuality?
It always amazes me that certain things that happen in your life always stay with you no matter how hard you try to get rid of them.
Oh joy.
I really need to shower.
I skink of work.
Stale cigarettes.
Chip fat.
And past it’s best beer.
I also look like I need a good nights sleep.
In a warm bed.
I’m getting a little sick of this rat race.
Would prince charming really listen to me moan and wipe my tears?
My prince charming would pour me a tequila shot, pass me the salt and a slice of lime, knock it back with me and then pour us another.
We’d get wildly drunk, giggle all night long and listen to vinyl very loud, dance like fools and sing out of tune into whatever resembled a microphone at the time.
For that I’m sure.


Monday 21st December 2009

Just put me in a big bag and shake me up…

I don’t like Mondays.
Who does?
I have a mountain of things to do.
But I just don’t want to do them.
When do insecurities dissolve into old age?
When will you accept yourself?
I am sick, I am dull and I am plain.
Dreams seem to have a way of not coming true.
Why do I want everything now?
I have a lifetime to wait for things to happen to me.
Why do I rush?
Why do I want it all now?


Tuesday 22nd December 2009

Get sexy right now…

I’ve got this huge sex appeal thing going on today.
And I have no idea why.
I feel very sexy.
Like I could just stand in the snow in my underwear and feel amazing.
What’s all that about?
It’s a new feeling that’s for sure.
I think I’m warming to the snow a little.
The view from my bedroom window is Christmas card perfect.
Bright white fields, everything’s covered in a carpet of white.
And Winter Hill looks even more amazing than usual.
Very wintery indeed.
In other positive news I got 61% oh yeahhh.
Novelist at heart baby.
I’m counting down the days until my big night out with the best in January.
I’m so excited to go out and have another crazy night out.
We’ve got a 21st then we’ll be hitting Wigwam with a bang.
I’ve started making my new years resolutions already too…
Get skinny…
Haha as if!


Wednesday 23rd December 2009

I’ll see you back on Winter Hill

Winter Hill looks so beautiful.
It’s so clear yet covered in snow.
It feels like it I step out of the patio doors and reach I’ll grab it.
Winter Hill will always remind me of home.
No matter where I go, it will always be home.
I think I’m dying here.
I’m wasting away.
I’m only half of the person I used to be.
I need to conjure some strength from somewhere.
I’m so scared.
The path I’m walking down isn’t the one I would have chose given the chance.
I want to scream at the top of my lungs in absolute frustration.
What’s this niggle, why aren’t I happy.
Why do I have an urge to leave?
Is everyone like this?
Or is it just me?
Do I have an overactive imagination?
Why won’t I settle for what I already have?
I can’t put roots down yet.
I’m not ready.